Scattered Memories
by Flareons
Summary: A Series of OneShots involving a Hug and a Kiss, somehow, someway. KuroFai.
1. Connections

Title: Connections  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #29 -- the sound of waves, Hugs #9 -- footprints  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes known as CLAMP.

* * *

The waves lapped at his feet lazily; swirling beneath his toes and pulling the sand beneath them back, as though reclaiming it from his clutches. He gave a slight laugh that was caught on the evening breeze, his blond hair whirling about his face as though it wanted to follow. He brushed it back behind an ear absently.

Fai had never seen the ocean before. He had never even heard of such a thing, as there were no oceans in his world -- just ice and snow and permafrost and an ever-present chill that seeped through clothes like cold water. He shivered at the memory.

Shifting his gaze back to the ocean Fai watched the sun melt into the horizon, casting a line of soft, orange light across the surface of the water. It was beautiful, he thought. The sunsets in his own world were appealing, but they didn't have the life in them that this one did. There wasn't much in his world that had life in it -- there was too much bloodshed for that.

Fai stood up suddenly, deciding to walk along the shoreline and look for some shells. Sakura would like to make jewelry out of them. It would give her something to do other than look for her feather, fret over Syaoran or fall into an exhausted sleep.

He walked slowly, savouring the feeling of the wet sand squishing between his toes. He closed his eyes for a moment to listen to the waves crash against the land and was surprised to hear the soft crunching of footsteps behind him. He pretended not to notice as he bent down to pick up a pretty pink shell.

It glowed softly with the fading sunlight. He smiled. Sakura would like this one.

"Oi, what are you doing?" asked a gruff voice from behind him. Fai heard the wind whipping at the man's clothes and whistling in his ears. The waves continued to crash against the sand soothingly.

"I'm looking for shells. Would you like to help me, Kuro-tan?"

There was an indignant snort. "As if I would want to do something so stupid. Besides, why didn't you do that earlier with the princess and the manjuu bun when it was light out?"

"It was too hot," Fai replied, turning the shell he found over and running his fingers across its smooth surface. "I'm not used to the heat."

"You should have gone in the water then," Kurogane said, coming up to stand slightly behind the blond.

Fai turned to look at the taller man, an unreadable smile plastered on his face. "I can't swim," he told him, grin never wavering, though his azure eyes darkened a bit. "There wasn't anywhere to learn where I came from. Unless I wanted to freeze to death."

He resumed walking, each step leaving a light indent in the sand. Kurogane followed him silently, his own footprints leaving a deeper mark.

"Footprints are wonderful things, don't you think, Kuro-pipi?" Fai asked suddenly. The dark-haired man knitted his brows together in annoyed confusion but had grown used to such random questions from the blond.

"What are you on about, mage?"

Fai stopped abruptly, staring at the ground, pink shell held tightly in one hand. Kurogane stopped as well and glared at him, "Well?" he demanded, lips drawn into a thin line.

"Walk ahead of me, Kuro-chin," the blond ordered lightly, "And I'll explain."

The ninja reluctantly agreed.

"You'd better not do anything stupid, like pounce on me or something." Kurogane threatened. Fai giggled at that, somehow managing to hit the same note consecutively, causing Kurogane to wonder, briefly, if the mage had any masculine pride at all.

Thinking back on all the mage had done in the time they had known each other he concluded that no, he did not.

Somewhat surprised that Kurogane did what he had asked without complaint, Fai followed him; making sure every step he took was inside the footprint the man in front of him left behind. They walked on like that for a few minutes until the blond broke the silence.

"You can stop now," he said. "Look behind you."

The larger man did, and then growled. "What am I looking at?"

"The footprints. See?" Fai motioned behind them with a slender hand. "There's only one set, but does that mean that only one person walked this path?"

"No. So?"

"It means that two souls walked the same path – that they're connected somehow."

"What if I don't want to be connected to you?"

Fai laughed softly; it was a nice clear sound that seemed to resonate in the air. Kurogane stared at him, red eyes shining with the dying light of the sun. The blond's skin looked paler than normal against the darkening sky, though there was a slight flush across his nose and cheeks and his hair curled about his face with more ferocity than he was used to seeing thanks to the salty air.  
Once he realized what he was doing Kurogane quickly averted his gaze.

"I think it's a bit too late for that now, don't you think, Kuro-pon?"

"What are you talking about?" asked the ninja, turning back to the mage angrily.

Fai laughed again and plastered another lop-sided grin onto his face. Kurogane hadn't even noticed it was gone.

"If you don't know now, then I'm not going to tell you" sang the blond, earning himself an angry slice to the head that he dodged easily.

"We should go back now, don't you think Big Puppy? The kids are going to be so worried!"

Kurogane grunted a response. Fai ran his fingers along the edge of the shell he was carrying.

"Besides," continued the blond, "Sakura-chan will probably want her feather."

"W-what!" cried the ninja, outraged. When had the mage found the feather?

Fai held the shell in front of Kurogane's face. "See, Kuro-rin?"

"That's a shell, dumbass."

The blond flipped it over for him to see. There, on the inside of the shell was the familiar pattern that was reserved for one of the princess's feathers.

"But that's a shell!"

"So? Stranger things have happened," said Fai. "Besides, it is sort of shaped like a feather, See?"

Kurogane opened his mouth to respond to that. Then closed it. Then opened it again. Fai giggled that infuriating giggle of his.

"Kuro-chu! You look like a fish!"

"S-Shut-up!" hollered the ninja, a blush evident across his face. Fai moved so they were nearly nose for nose, blue eyes alight with mischief. They were so close that Kurogane could see the slight dusting of freckles the mage had gotten across his cheeks thanks to the heat. His blush deepened and he tried shake the mage off him.

"But I love you for it."

Kurogane's efforts to push the blond away ceased abruptly in his surprise. Fai took this chance and gave him a soft kiss, swiping his tongue across the ninja's bottom lip almost on instinct before pulling away with a smile.

"W-wha? Y-you!" Kurogane stammered. Fai patted him on the shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting manner, but ending up being more of a mocking action than anything.He leaned over so his lips were just brushing against the ninja's ears.

"You taste like chocolate," whispered the blond, laughing. "I thought you didn't like sweets!"

Kurogane's skin was tingling where the mage exhaled and his stomach fluttered strangely. He began to wonder if there was any truth in what the shorter man had said to him earlier about being 'connected'.

Fai glomped him before hescampered away towards their temporary residence; arms waving in the air exaggeratedly at the two teenagers sitting outside on the deck watching the stars.

Kurogane followed at a much slower pace, arriving at the house after all of the excitement died down and the kid put the princess to bed. He found the blond sprawled on his stomach on the living room couch, sleeping peacefully; limbs and blankets and hair tangled together impossibly.

He snorted. The mage was a nuisance even in his sleep. Fai murmured something unintelligible and buried his face deeper into the pillow, flinging an arm so it hung off the side of the couch along with his leg.

Kurogane sighed and rearranged the blankets so they covered Fai. His hand lingered near the smaller man's cheek for a moment before he gently brushed the stray strands of hair away from Fai's face. Fai made a contented noise and leaned into the touch.

Smiling softly, Kurogane decided could kill the mage tomorrow.

After he taught the idiot how to swim.

* * *


	2. The Curtain Falls

Title: The Curtain Falls  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #16 – invincible; unrivaled, Hugs #25 – the curtain falls  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

* * *

Kurogane sometimes wondered what could have happened in the idiot's past that could cause him to act like he did. What could have happened to cause a man to think his life worthless – to think _he_ was worthless?

He was never one to dwell. He had always preferred looking forward, even as a child.

What is in the past is in the past, after all. No use fretting over what can't be changed.

So he fretted over the idiotic mage.

He knew that, someday, he would get Fai to smile honestly at him; to cry when he needed to; to hug and kiss him not just to annoy him, but because he meant it; to get angry or outraged when the situation called for it – and even when it didn't.

Kurogane knew this because he knew that no one was invincible.

Someday, Fai would let the curtain fall.

And someday the idiot would change for the better.

* * *

_C'est finis! _

_Reviews are highly encouraged as they only take about 25 seconds MAX to write. -sighs- I know you all are reading this! I HAVE A HIT COUNTER_

_So... feed a hungry author some reviews?_


	3. Hugs and Kisses

_Dedicated to Hershey's Chocolate because oh, dear Lord I want some chocolate right now. -drools- You have no idea how unbelievably hard I had to work to stop my chocolate craving after writing this. I want an orgasmic chocolate experience too ;A;_

_Yah. Ignore that. X3;; It is like, 1am here right now. I was supposed to be asleep 2 hours ago. So 'shh!' and I'll try to write the next installment for tomorr-- err... later today! XD;_

_Many thanks to Tasaika for beta-ing this for me! (and telling me it was good XD 'cause I still don't think so. -sigh-)_

Title: Hugs and Kisses  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #30 – kiss, Hugs #30 – hug  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

* * *

"3, 4, 5, 6..."

"What are you doing?"

Kurogane looked up from his magazine and sent a glare to the blond sitting on the floor near him. Said blond turned to give him a radiant, lop-sided smile. Kurogane knew the silence was too good to last.

"I'm counting, Kuro-chu!"

The larger man gave a snort. "Nice to know you can do _that_ at least."

"Aww! Kuro-tan is a meanie!"

Kurogane could practically _hear_ the pout and promptly decided to go back to ignoring the mage. Besides, he was just getting to the best part of his magazine.

"27, 28, 29, 30…" Fai paused in his counting, a small frown on his face and held up a small item to the light. The wrapping on it was different than the others. He grabbed the small piece of paper sticking from the top of the wrapped item and squinted at the writing on it.

Syaoran had decided to teach Fai a bit of the basics for reading foreign writing a few worlds earlier and the mage had finally made enough progress to read some of the more simple words in the world they had landed in recently. When he finally figured out what the paper said he tilted his head in confusion.

"…Hugs?"

Fai picked up one of the items he had counted earlier and read the writing on that one.

"…Kisses?"

He shrugged, realizing he must have bought two different kinds of the same candy.

The lady at the store had said that they were a very popular choice of chocolate to buy, and when Fai asked her if she liked them she had nodded vigorously and without hesitation accompanied by a large smile. This was good enough confirmation for the sweet-toothed man and he promptly bought two large bags.

Sweets were best enjoyed with friends, after all, and he needed enough to share with everyone.

When he arrived home he was sad to find that only Kurogane was there; the two teenagers had run off to explore the town and Mokona had tagged along.

Sighing, Fai decided to leave the grumpy ninja to his reading so he could count his newly bought treasure and split it equally between them all when the others returned. It was silent for nearly an hour. Feeling slightly suffocated due to the heavy quiet, Fai chose to count out loud.

He managed to count six before Kurogane snapped at him. Once the ninja went back to his reading Fai continued counting, more quietly this time. He didn't really feel like teasing the larger man when it was so peaceful. It was rare when they could stay in the same room for an extended period of time without fighting.

Smiling to himself, Fai carefully unwrapped one of the chocolates, letting out a small giggle as the tinfoil opened up nicely when he pulled on the strand of paper with the writing on it. Kurogane looked up briefly to shoot him a glare. Fai returned it with another grin and popped the chocolate into his mouth.

Blue eyes shot open in surprise as the candy almost immediately began to melt in his mouth before closing again in bliss. He let out a soft, contented hum in appreciation.

Kurogane looked up, startled, as soon as he heard the mage's moan.

"What are you doing?" he snapped. The blond whipped his head around so quickly to stare at him that Kurogane was surprised he didn't just topple over. Large eyes stared at him in confusion, as though he had forgotten that the ninja was there for a moment.

Fai responding with a smile, "I just wanted to see if the chocolate here was any good, Kuro-muu! Would you like a Hug too?"

"W-what?" Kurogane stammered, wondering what a hug had to do with chocolate. "No! I do not want a hug!"

"…How about a Kiss then?"

"N-_No!_ Just leave me _alone_ you damn mage!"

Pouting at him, Fai turned back to his chocolates. He picked one up and rolled it softly between two fingers until an idea came to him.

Brows furrowed in concentration, he moved the candies around carefully and deliberately on the smooth wooden floor until a silver cat was grinning at him. Fai grinned back and then scattered the chocolates about again. Tapping his chin with a finger he pondered over what shape to make next.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, startling Kurogane once more. "I know!"

Kurogane discreetly watched the mage from behind his magazine, noticing how there was a look of concentration on his slender face as opposed to an appallingly fake smile. It was times like these that the ninja could really appreciate the company of the idiotic blond. Turning back to the story he was reading, Kurogane fully intended to enjoy what little peace he had.

-x-

After playing with his chocolates for nearly half an hour, Fai decided that it was about time that he do something else. So, scooping his treasure into his arms and onto the coffee table next to him, the blond stood up – fully intent on disturbing the peace that had settled throughout the house.

His carefully constructed grin slipped into a more comfortable semi-smirk as he walked silently over to where the ninja sat. Knowing that the larger man would sense him quickly, Fai spared only a moment's glance at the back of Kurogane's head before he pounced.

-x-

Kurogane had just finished reading a very informative paragraph about the proper way to peel an orange when he felt it -- a sudden, lurching sense of dread in the pit of his stoamch. He only had half a second to prepare for the inevitable and he braced himself accordingly.

"Kuro-kichii!"

Fai somehow managed to flip himself over the back of the chair and onto Kurogane's lap in the span of about a second.

Kurogane let out an inelegant 'oof!'ing sound. Fai giggled.

"Kuro-pon is so silly!"

The ninja's face reddened in barely-controlled fury.

"Get. Off. Of. Me," he hissed. Fai looked up at him, impossibly blue eyes blinking in a way that would have been endearing to anyone else. It just annoyed the ninja further.

"But Kuro-kuu! You said you didn't want a Hug _or _a Kiss!"

"That didn't mean I wanted you on my lap either!"

Fai blinked up at him again and quickly secured his arms around Kurogane's torso in a tight hug before the larger man could throw him off.

"Let me GO!" Kurogane hollered. Fai clung tighter. The ninja could feel the smaller man grin through the fabric of his shirt.

Fai looked up at him again. Kurogane growled down at him, fully intending to shout out profanities at the smaller man until he found his mouth otherwise detained. He tasted chocolate. Impossibly _sugary_ chocolate.

"Mrrft!" said Kurogane in alarm.

Fai pulled back with a laugh and jumped away before the dark-haired man could grab him.

"What the _Hell_ was _that_!"

"Well, Kuro-chin," said the blond as he began running away with flailing arms as the ninja gave chase. "You said you didn't want a Hug _or _a Kiss, but I felt bad because no one should be left out! Not even you, Kuro-woof!"

He laughed as he dodged another slice to the head. "So I decided to give you a hug _and_ a kiss!" Fai paused for a second to grin widely at him. "But I didn't want to share my chocolates with you so I gave you hugs and kisses of a different variety!"

Kurogane spluttered at him, apparently too outraged to form proper words.

Fai took advantage of his shock and bounded over to him, giving him a kiss on the nose and another quick glomp. He skittered away before the ninja could slice him with Souhi, the blade just missing his ear.

His grin widened.

He had always been known as somewhat of a risk-taker.

* * *

_a/n: Totally edited it XD It was really hard to write! After I made Fai read off the labels I couldn't think of what else to do -sighs-_

_I don't like how I ended it TT;_

_Who else feels like chocolate now? _

_... I wish I had my very own Fay to glomp me ;A;_

_Yah. Wow. Early morning blues. I'll shut up now._

_REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED. They make me happy and want to write! -hinthintnudgenudge-_


	4. Dust Bunny

a/n: This might be my last update for a few weeks. It's not been beta'ed as my BetaFish has mysteriously vanished. Probably in the Bermuda Triangle where she is currently resided -waves a jealous fist-

Anyhoo, this didn't quite turned out how I wanted it to... I wanted some more sap and metaphores and general philosophical stuff and instead I came up with... this. Took me about... 2.5 hours to write xx

The ending was really hard to write too X3; I had the dialogue planned out for how it should end... but it didn't want to fit! -growls at it-

So... enjoy!

Title: Dust Bunny  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #1 – look over here, Hugs #28 – dust  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

**This is a Present for my BetaFish, since she requested it.** Totally just added the line you wanted me to. XD. I forgot about it. Haha.

* * *

After much deliberation, three cups of coffee, and five uncontrollable bouts of sneezing, Fay D. Flourite decided, with a slightly wary smile and a handkerchief in hand, that he would clean.

The house they were staying in had long since garnered a surprising amount of dust. The owner was an emergency room doctor and didn't have the time for cleaning as he was rushing to the hospital and every odd hour imaginable to save a life.

Fay thought that that would be a very fulfilling job and wondered how different his life would have been if he had been a healer on his own world.

He definitely wouldn't have had to work as closely with his king as he did; wouldn't have had to flee to the Dimensional Witch as a result. He wouldn't have met Syaoran, Sakura and Mokona.

He wouldn't have met Kurogane.

Fay glanced at the ninja from where he knelt on the floor; scrubbing until his fingers were red and sore. He looked away before the other man could catch him, although with Kurogane's senses he was sure to have known he was.

"What are you doing?"

Fay looked up questioningly. He thought it was pretty obvious what he was doing, and told the other man so.

Kurogane snorted. "_Why _are you doing it, then?"

"It's too dusty," explained the blond with a grin. "It makes me sneeze. Besides, Kuro-ron, I'm _bored_ and Doctor-san would appreciate it."

He didn't bother hiding the smile when Kurogane shuddered. A bored Fay was never a good thing. A bored, _caffeinated,_ Fay was something the ninja never wanted to see.

"Why don't you use that _thing_ that the doctor told you about," Kurogane suggested. It was a desperate attempt to keep the blond occupied with something _other_ than hugging, tackling, teasing, poking, prodding, glomping, and ripping apart his dignity one nickname at a time.

"Hyuu?"

"That _vack-kyoom_ thing," he said. "The guy said it would suck up all the dust."

Fay pouted. "But I already cleaned up all the dust, Kuro-chu! Now I'm making the floors all shiny."

_And slippery, _the ninja added mentally.

"Did you look under the furniture?"

Blue eyes widened with hope at the suggestion. Fay really wanted to use this mysterious _vack-kyoom_ thing that Kurogane was telling him about.

"I'll go do that now, Kuro-kuu!"

Kurogane had long since managed not to flinch whenever the idiot mage mutilated his name. He _hadn't,_however, managednotto flinch whenever the idiot mage decided that the ninja looked like he was in need of a hug.

So, when Fay _pounced_ on him and planted a kiss smack on his lips, Kurogane's eyes widened and he was not able to hold back a shudder.

Fay looked up at him slyly; blue eyes half lidded and lips curved into an almost-smirk as he landed.

Kurogane glowered at him. "What the _Hell!_"

The blond nimbly dodged the blow aimed for his head, laughing as the ninja growled low in his throat.

"Kuro-pipi! You sound just like an angry puppy! I was only saying 'thank you'!"

"I'll show _you_ thanks!"

"Oh! Does Kuro-chin want to give me a kiss too?"

"_No!_"

Fay laughed and skittered away in search of the mysterious_ vack-kyoom._

* * *

It was silent.

_Too silent_, thought Kurogane.

The ninja never thought he would live to see the day when he found _silence_ to be as unnerving to him as it was now. And it was all because of one idiotic, blond mage.

Fay and silence did not go together. It was a scientific fact.

Fay and silence was like water and oil. No matter how hard you tried you always failed to mix the two in the end.

So, with this in mind, Kurogane was only a little bit surprised when the door to the kitchen suddenly blew open; hinges squeaking loudly in protest at such abuse.

"Hyuu!" exclaimed Fay happily, sitting a top a strange looking black monstrosity. He was waving his arms in the air like it was one of those carnival rides they saw in Outo.

"Kuro-woof!" laughed the blond. "This _vack-kyoom_ thing is _amazing!_"

Kurogane blinked.

"The _HELL!" _he shouted, stomping his foot and accidentally stepping on the power cord as he did so. The 'vack-kyoom' kept darting across the floor until it stopped suddenly, sending the mage sliding across the slippery wooden surface until he came to a rest half-under the sofa.

Fay blinked.

There was a fluffy grey thing staring at him.

He coughed. The grey thing jumped at him.

He gave a surprised squeal and tried to sit up quickly, hitting his head hard against the sofa's wooden frame and effectively stunning him. Kurogane grabbed his ankle and pulled him up, quickly unsheathing _Souhi._

"What was it?" asked the ninja in a low voice.

Fay stared at him, still slightly dazed. "I think it was a bunny, Kuro-rin."

The dark-haired man dropped him and looked cautiously at the grey ball of fluff. The front door opened but both men were too busy watching the 'bunny' warily to take much notice.

Then it leapt at them as the door was shut. Kurogane sliced it with his sword.

Nothing happened.

"God damned Demon Rabbit!" cried the ninja. Fay walked over to the 'vack-kyoom' and got it working again.

"Oh! Kuro-muu! I have an idea!" said the blond. He frowned when Kurogane didn't move. "Kuro-tan! Please move!"

Still the ninja ignored him. Fay smirked, locating the power button and positioned the nozzle so it was almost touching the other man's bottom.

He turned it on.

The resulting cry of shock from the ninja was worth the slice to his face. He frowned, however, as he felt the cut bleed and touched a finger to it.

"Pi-pyuu! Kuro-fuu is so fast!"

Kurogane looked at him, a well-hidden expression of worry sketched on his face. The ninja reached out to touch the cut before he stopped, realizing what he was doing. He blushed.

The Demon Rabbit glided between them.

They stared at it.

It stared back.

Fay pointed the nozzle in his hand at it and turned on the power again. The Demon Rabbit promptly disappeared as it was sucked into the belly of the machine.

"Wow! This _vack-kyoom_ is so cool!" cried Fay excitedly,holding the nozzle up to his head and laughing as it tried to suck inhis hair."Wow! Look! It's really sucky!"

Kurogane merelyhuffed, disappointed that it didn't put up much of a fight.

"What's going on, Fay-san?" asked Syaoran from the doorway. He was holding a few bags of groceries in his arms. Mokona was perched on his head singing.

"Oh! Kuro-muu and I were just cleaning! Weren't we, Kuro-chan?"

Kurogane snorted and grabbed Fay's wrist. "Let's get you a bandage."

Sakura was standing behind Syaoran; listening to them talk, and then looked between them before glancing at the floor, a slight frown on her face.

"Fay-san?" she called.

The mage smiled at her. "Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Look over here," she motioned to the floor near her feet. Fay looked at her in confusion, so she continued.

"You missed a spot."

* * *

_a/n: After re-reading this (and trying to beta it myself) I have decided that I don't much care for this one-shot either... X3; I had planned for much more interesting things to happen in it. Damn the Demon Rabbit and its distracting qualities. really needs to let us use the squiggly line. Really. I mean, half of Fay's lines in this were squiggly-line-ified (like the 'Hyuu!' and whatnot) because it just helps capture his character better. But Fanfiction is annoying and is also pissy. -growls-_

_Anywho! Reviews are greatly appreciated! Hehe, I might be able to get a few more one-shots in while I'm at my grandparents' house, but we'll see. The drive over there is long, so it'll either be this story or my Puppy Love one that gets updated :) _

_-dashes off to continue Whistle! fic- Wahahaha! Soccer/Football EATS MY BRAIN!_

_which reminds me. i am going to pick up 6 manga today:D -very happy-_

_PLEASE REVIEW:DDD_


	5. Drowning

_Title: Drowning  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #6 – the space between dream and reality, Hugs #6– oxygen  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP._

_**Chapter Dedicated to Nestle for making the Kit-Kat bar that I am currently eating. **Take that Chocolate craving! -evil laughter-_

* * *

_He was drowning. _

_The water was smothering him in its icy grasp; numbing his limbs until he could no longer move and caressing his skin like some sort of twisted lover. He gasped and the cold seeped down his throat and into his lungs and he felt as though his insides were turning into ice. _

_Cold and useless. _

_That's what he was. He had never been anything but a hindrance to his companions, and it was because of him that they were in danger. _

_He felt his eyes drifting shut, only to snap back open as a finely manicured hand cupped his cheek. He looked into the eyes of its owner and tried to scream; but the water was cold, and heavy, and smothering. _

_Long, black hair flowed from the man's head, spiraling and dancing its way around them. The man smiled at him; a smile far colder than the water he was in could ever be. _

_He tried to close his eyes – to fade away into the darkness, but the man wouldn't let him. The hand curled and dug its nails into his flesh. The man laughed his cruel laugh. _

_Images flashed before his eyes; Syaoran and Sakura blushing as they held hands, Mokona prancing about and singing his songs, and finally he saw Kurogane. _

_Kurogane grinning. Kurogane ruffling Syaoran's hair. Kurogane chasing Mokona. Kurogane blushing. Kurogane growling. _

_Kurogane. _

_The man's eyes narrowed. _

"_Your…friends?" _

_He shook his head vehemently. The man let out a mirthless laugh. _

"_Not for long…" _

_The images stopped. _

_Kurogane, he thought. Kurogane, Kurogane, Kurogane. _

_The man moved his slender hands to wrap around his neck. Too weak to protest, he just watched the man slowly squeeze out what little life he had left in him. His eyes began drifting shut and he smiled. _

_If he were dead…his friends would be safe. _

_Syaoran, Sakura, Mokona…Kurogane. They would all be safe. _

_Kurogane would be safe… _

"Oi!"

_Kurogane… _

"Oi! Wake up!"

_Kurogane… _

"Dammit! You idiot! Wake _up_!"

A sharp sting radiated from his cheek and he opened his eyes wearily. Two large ruby eyes stared at him.

He blinked and moved to get up. His limbs felt monstrously heavy and his eyes felt as though they were made of lead. Strong arms pushed him back down.

"Kuro…tan?"

His voice sounded weak to his own ears, and his throat felt swollen.

"You're sick, you dumbass," Kurogane growled. "I told you not to go running around in this weather."

He watched the ninja through half-lidded eyes and shivered a bit. He wondered why he was so cold…

Kurogane pulled the blankets back up around him with a gentleness he rarely ever saw from the man.

"You stopped breathing, idiot ."

He blinked. '_What?_' he wanted to ask, but his voice wouldn't let him. Kurogane continued as if he knew what he was going to say.

"You had a fever and were sleeping," explained the taller man, a glower on his face. "You screamed. And then you stopped breathing."

"Oh," he murmured softly. "Sorry."

Kurogane stared at him thoughtfully.

"You're not sorry. You said in your sleep that we would be safer if you were dead."

He blinked, confused, and responded with not a small bit a dread pooling in his stomach.

"No," he said thickly. "No, I'm not sorry. You would be better off."

Kurogane grabbed his shoulders and moved so their faces were barely an inch apart. Close enough to kiss. He could feel the ninja's breath against his lips and withheld a shudder.

"You _idiot!_" he all-but-shouted; drilling that ruby gaze into him. He looked away. Kurogane grabbed his chin and forced him back, but still he kept his eyes averted. "Look at me."

He slowly moved his azure gaze over to stare the man he cared about in the eye.

"That's better. You need to face your fears." said the ninja fiercely. "Stop running away, you coward."

He was uncomfortable. He was scared. He needed his mask back.

"You'd better not plan on doing that again, you damn mage. Dying won't help anyone."

Slowly, he plastered a weak grin onto his face.

"Whatever are you talking about, Kuro-pyon?"

Kurogane glared at him for a moment before he stepped away from him, sighing deeply.

"Just… Go back to sleep, Fay."

Watching him leave the room, Fay wondered how far away his dreams were from reality.

* * *


	6. Pancakes and Butterflies

_a/n: Okay, so I am currently in Brasil (this is day 6 of... 10 months. school is crap. i think they put me in the wrong grade. i am doing university prep courses in a completely different language that i don't understand. thank god friendships transcend language boundaries) and have pretty much NO TIME AT ALL to write anything. This is due mainly in part to that facts that a) I am not supposed to be exposed to any english at all for my entire stay here pfft! fat chance of that happening! i brought over all my TRC, xxxHOLIC and Whistle! manga as well as about twenty novels. wo0t. cost me a shitload of money for the extra baggage though..., b) the internet here is crap. it is slow, and NOT WIRELESS. -teh sadness-_

_Anyway, there is one transitional part that I can't stand in this chapter. I tried for a couple weeks to fix it, but it just /won't/ and so now I am just going to post it as-is. Not Beta-Read as BetaFish is in ITALY. And my internet is screwy. I finished this a while ago, but the ending was so disgusting it burned my eyes and made me cry (okay, that was the pollen, but w/e). _

_This is my second try at the ending!_

_...I hope I got them in-character enough. I haven't read any TRC for so long. It should be blasphemy. The end... shit. I think there might be some OOC-ness near the end. But if so, I believe it to only be mild. Warning: Much inane, meaningful rambling from an over-tired Fay in this one. Hahaha._

Title: Pancakes and Butterflies  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #18 – say 'ahh', Hugs #2–rainbows and butterflies  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

**This Chapter is Dedicated to Monkey. My new kitten, whom I found and de-flea-ified and washed, and thought got flushed down the toilet by Mae and made food for and picked up the poo of.**

_(P.S, Tell me anyone is OOC and I will like, shoot you, really. Just review and send me the OOC lines at the end of it with suggestions. I should shut up now. I am drugged up on Benadryl and probably am being paranoid. 50 literally bug bites can do that to you. Especially if you're allergic.)_

**_Fixed up so it flows more smoothly. I think._**

_

* * *

_

The amusement on his face was evident and he made no effort to hide it.

His chin rested atop his intertwined fingers, elbows perched on the table and watched the other man as he tried to eat. There was the clinking of cutlery against china as the man flung his utensil down; his face twisted into an angered frown.

"Having trouble, Kuro-pyon?"

"Shut-up," hissed the dark-haired man, switching his heated red glare from his untouched dinner to the blond. "Why are you still here anyway? Why aren't you off chasing butterflies or looking for the end of the rainbow or whatever the Hell it is that you do in your spare time?"

The blond grinned, "Because watching Kuro-chin is much more entertaining."

Growling, Kurogane grabbed his fork and knife and went back to trying to eat his spaghetti. Fay continued to stare at the ninja, giggling whenever a clump of noodles would fall from his fork.

Kurogane shot him a glare, "Go play with the manjuu bun, idiot."

"But I'm waiting for Kuro-kuu to ask me for help!" exclaimed Fay; the smile on his face widening to painful proportions at the disgusted look on the ninja's face. "So I'm going to sit here until you need me!"

Kurogane stared at him. "Yeah," he said slowly – a plan formulating in his mind. "Yeah, you do that."

Abandoning what would be deemed proper eating manners, Kurogane shoveled the spaghetti into his mouth with his fork. Fay sat quietly at the table; face still resting in his hands, and waited.

Kurogane would make sure he waited for a long time.

Getting up, the ninja placed his dirty dish in the sink and washed it. He studiously ignored the mage who merely sat at the table and continued watching him with a lazy smile.

It was rather creepy.

Fay had always been very patient.

Even as a child, barely past the age where he had learned to walk, he had always been patient enough to sit still for hours on end quietly while his parents conversed with the other nobles. Because of this, he had learned that patience was key in getting what you wanted, and he wasn't going to forget that lesson anytime soon.

Fay grinned. Kurogane had knowingly challenged him to a battle of will.

There was no way he was going to lose.

Kurogane woke up the next morning feeling particularly smug.

He knew Fay. Or, at least, he had concluded that he had traveled with the idiot long enough to know that the blond wouldn't last a day sitting in the same spot, unmoving. And, if the lack of people to bother and generally harass didn't get to him, Kurogane was sure that his bladder would.

Swinging open the kitchen doors he couldn't help the surprised expression that flitted across his face when he saw the idiot sitting at the table; smiling up at him over interlaced fingers with bright blue eyes. He glowered at him.

"Good Morning, Kuro-pi!" cried the blond happily.

His glower deepened. "The Hell? Didn't you move _at all_ last night?"

"Nope!" exclaimed Fay, the lop-sided grin on his face stretching. "I told you I would wait here until you needed my help, so here I am, waiting for you, Kuro-kuu!"

"How the Hell did you manage to fall asleep like _that?_"

"Oh, that's simple, Kuro-chu!" Fay replied as he stretched his arms back behind his head. He fixed his gaze onto the ninja. "I didn't."

Kurogane snorted and grabbed a bowl to pour his cereal in. He was glad he knew how to use a spoon, at least.

"Let's see how long you can keep up with that, then."

"You'd be surprised."

Kurogane paused in his eating when he caught the tone the other man used. He had a strange feeling of dread and stared at the blond for a moment. Fay's expression remained the same throughout his scrutiny, although his grin may or may not have wavered slightly.

"See something you like, Kuro-rin?"

The ninja glared at him, but was spared a response as Sakura came thump-thumping down the stairs. How a girl so light could make that much noise was beyond him -- he had given up on ever figuring out most of these things a long time ago.

"Good Morning!" cried the teenager; a genuine smile was on her face, a lovely change from the ones he had been receiving from the mage. Her green eyes sparkled in genuine as she hugged her new hat to her chest.

Syaoran had given it to her the day before, as it was very bright out.

"Fay-san!" she exclaimed. "I had the most wonderful dream last night!"

Fay smiled softly at her. "Would you like to tell me about it, Sakura-chan?"

The girl nodded vigorously and Fay laughed, patting the seat next to him. "Okay then! Come sit down and tell me!"

"Oh…here?" she asked, looking around the kitchen. "I thought it would be nice to sit outside! It's so lovely out…"

Fay smiled apologetically. "Ahh… but I promised Kuro-kichii I would sit here and wait for him."

"Oh?" Sakura blinked, "What for?"

"For when he asks me for my help, of course!" replied the mage cheerfully.

Sakura gasped. "You're so kind, Fay-san!"

Kurogane snorted in disgust. Fay shot him a _look_, but he couldn't tell what type of look it was, precisely.

"Now, Sakura-chan," said the mage, "You were going to tell me about your dream?"

As the bright-eyed brunette began describe faeries and elves and other sorts of fanciful creatures, Kurogane placed his now-empty bowl on the counter and fled. Fay sent him another _look_ as he left before dutifully returning to listening to the princess.

The following three days proceeded in much the same way.

Three days of Fay quietly sitting at the kitchen table; almost as though he were glued to his seat.

Three days of Kurogane resolutely ignoring Fay's existence and struggling with the silverware.

Three days of Syaoran sending the two men disapproving looks while he looked for clues as to the whereabouts of Sakura's memory.

Three days of Sakura regaling the mage with her strange dreams and trotting after Syaoran into town to earn money.

In short, it was three days of pure and utter torture for one raven-haired ninja.

By the dawn of the fourth day, Kurogane was starving, confused, and most of all _pissed_. Having run out of cereal two days earlier and not having the money to buy anything else, the group had been eating steak for every meal and, as he was lacking the ability to use the eating utensils on this world, had not managed a single bite.

Fay had been grinning at him the whole time.

Pushing open the kitchen door with a sigh, he looked around in surprise.

"Where're the kids?" he demanded, ignoring the gurgling of his stomach.

Fay looked up at him gave a tired smile. "Sakura-chan dragged Syaoran-kun out to earn some money," he explained. "Mokona deemed it necessary to go with them and I needed to stay here to tell you this when you woke up, Kuro-chu!"

Kurogane grunted in response and began scouring the cupboards for something that would make a good breakfast. The blond watched him.

"I could make you something if you'd like, Kuro-pon."

"You'd probably poison me," the ninja replied scathingly, even though he found the mage's cooking to be quite delicious. Not that he would ever admit to it.

Fay sent him a trademark lop-sided grin. "There aren't any ingredients here to make poisons," he told the taller man as he tapped the floor with a bare foot. "Besides, why would I want to poison my beloved Kuro-rin?"

"Because you're an idiot, that's why."

"Hmm," said the blond, ceasing his tapping and twirling a knife he had found laying on the table through his fingers instead. "Maybe I am, Kuro-kuu, but that doesn't mean that I don't know what I'm doing at least _some_ of the time."

The knife clattered against the table as it slipped from Fay's slender fingers. Kurogane looked over his shoulder from where he was rummaging through the refrigerator.

"Watch what you're doing, you damned magician."

Fay blinked; a small, self-deprecating smile spreading across his face.

"Damned magician?" he said, "That is… surprisingly accurate, Kuro-woof."

Kurogane turned to look at him; an eyebrow arched delicately, and a can of some sort of drink in one hand. Fay recognized the look as his companion's trademark calculative glare.

"What did you say, mage?"

Fay sent him his best confused look. "Hmm?" he said, "I don't believe I know what you're talking about, Kuro-pyon."

Kurogane opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it and closed it again. He sighed. "You're an idiot."

"So you've informed me – on numerous occasions," replied the mage, cheerfully. Kurogane growled.

"You do realize that I won't ask for help from someone who doesn't ask for it himself."

Fay smiled at him – a different smile than he was used to; blue eyes dull and void of any emotion. The ninja shivered.

"Yes. But maybe that someone has already asked, though not in the way you would expect," said the blond. "Or maybe that someone believes that he doesn't deserve help in any way, shape, or form, and would therefore not bother asking."

"Or maybe that someone is being an idiot, as usual," countered Kurogane bitterly.

Fay's eyes slipped closed as he smiled. "Maybe."

The ninja scanned the wizard's slight form critically with narrowed eyes. Fay looked exhausted, and seemed thinner than usual – something that Kurogane would have never thought possible had he not seen it himself.

"Oi," he muttered. The blond sent him a curious glance. "Make me breakfast, you damn wizard."

Fay blinked in surprise, and then grinned. Making his way over to the cooking area, he looked at Kurogane from the corner of his eye. "Any requests, Kuro-kichii?"

"Those pancake things."

Fay pulled some eggs and milk out of the refrigerator and began hunting for the rest of the ingredients.

"Anything else?" he asked, setting the bag of flour onto the counter -- flour smoking out of the top and covering the area in a thin layer of white. "I think I could make you something with the eggs."

Kurogane grunted. "No," he replied. "…But make something for yourself."

If the other man was surprised, he certainly didn't show it. Fay merely sent him a cheeky grin. "Why, I didn't know you cared, Kuro-kii!"

"I-I don't!" cried the ninja, outraged. "The kids would be sad if you got sick or something…and I don't want to have to deal with you moaning on about how hungry you are."

Fay sent him another indistinguishable _look_ and proceeded to ladle out the pancakes into the frying pan. They sizzled satisfyingly.

Kurogane sat quietly at the table while Fay cooked. The blond hummed to himself as he flipped the almost-finished pancakes. Kurogane liked his voice. It was light and airy, but had deep, rich undertones – much like the man himself.

Of course, he would never admit to that, either.

He was brought out of his musings when a forkful of syrupy cake was held up to his face.

"Say 'ahh!' Kuro-po!"

The fork was shoved closer to his face.

"A-ahh!" he exclaimed in shock. "Get that away from me you damn magician!"

"No, no, Kuro-ro!" said Fay, using the forkful of pancake as a pointer to emphasize what he was saying. "That's not how you say it!"

"I changed my mind – I'm not hungry anymore."

"But I made these especially for you, Kuro-ron!" Fay said sorrowfully, fake tears pooling in his eyes. Kurogane wanted to roll his eyes. "See?"

A plateful of heart-shaped pancakes was pushed in front of him.

"The _Hell!_"

"See? Aren't they cute, Kuro-chan?" Fay withdrew the fork from Kurogane's face and popped it into his own mouth. "They taste good too!"

The larger man grimaced. "They look like _hearts!_"

"Well, I tried to shape them like puppies and kitties, but they didn't turn out too well, so hearts were the next best thing!" explained the blond. He picked a pancake off of Kurogane's plate, gracefully, with his fork and bit off a piece.

The ninja stared down at the food in front of him distastefully.

"You put _syrup_ on them."

"Yes, but it tastes good"

"_Syrup,_" he said again. "Do you know what that is made out of?"

"Sap."

"And _sugar._"

"You don't like sugary things, Kuro-fuu, do you?"

"No, I don't. I've made the fact clear enough."

"You should like them though! They give you energy!" explained Fay.

"No, I shouldn't like them; and the only things sweets give you are cavities."

"Aww! Kuro-pyon! Don't be like that!"

"It is horrible stuff."

"Are you sure, Kuro-po? It really makes the pancakes taste better!"

"Yes," finished Kurogane. "I'm positive. And stop calling me by those damn nicknames, idiot."

Fay stared at him, popped another piece of syrupy pancake into his mouth, and stood up.

"I still win," he said with an almost-smirk.

Kurogane blinked. "What?"

"You asked for my help."

"No I didn't—"

"You asked me to make you breakfast."

The ninja stared up at the mage, mouth agape ("You'll catch flies that way, Kuro-woof!" said Fay), from where he sat and then sighed. "Fine," he said.

"Fine, what?" Fay asked, milking the moment for all it was worth.

"You win," replied Kurogane through clenched teeth, "…I suppose."

The mage walked over and collapsed on the ninja's back; arms wrapped loosely around the taller man's neck and chin resting on his shoulder. Kurogane glanced at the blond out of the corner of his eye and, seeing the tired look on his face, decided that he would leave the other man alone. Just this once.

Fay sighed softly and the warm air brushed the sensitive skin on his neck. He withheld a shiver.

"Sometimes," said the mage quietly, fingers toying with the dark-haired man's shirt sleeve, "Patience pays off, eh, Kuro-kucho?"

"Hn," replied Kurogane, trying to convince himself that, no, he was not enjoying this. He shook the smaller man off of him. "Go get some sleep, idiot," he demanded.

Fay flicked his nose playfully, "What do you say, Kuro-tin?"

"Go get some sleep, idiot, or I'll slice off your hands."

The blond let out an airy laugh as he walked towards the kitchen doorway. "Close enough, I suppose," he said. His eyes caught sight of the crystal butterfly dangling in the morning sun; splattering prisms of colour across the floor next to him as he left, rooting him to the spot. Blue eyes widened fractionally.

Memories of crystalline ground came to mind. Shining brightly in the sunrise and casting hundreds of rainbows across the roofs and walls of the village houses. It was a sight that only those privileged or gifted enough to live within the castle walls could see. He remembered waking up early every morning to watch the spectacle – not for free, of course. Never for free.

Nothing good in his life ever came for free.

He stared at the ornament in silence; painful memories floating to the surface of his thoughts, paralyzing him until Kurogane's rough voice snapped him back to reality.

"What the Hell are you doing, dumbass? Get some sleep!"

"Have you ever heard of a Butterfly Kiss, Kuro-ron?" Fay asked suddenly, almost desperately. He needed release from his demons; if only for a moment, and sharing some of his nicer memories would help.

He knew it was his own fault for exhausting himself to the point that he would unwittingly recall some of his earlier years in his home world. But, he thought, Kurogane would understand.

It was, after all, just a silly little thing he remembered from his childhood -- nothing really of importance.

It would be nice to tell someone of the peace he could remember.

Yes, he thought, Kurogane would definitely understand.

"No," said the ninja. Kurogane got the feeling that this talk would be significant, but he didn't know why, "What are they?"

"Well, the children used to give them all the time back…home," Kurogane caught the hesitant tone when he referred to his world as 'home'. Fay continued, "They would run up to each other and rub their noses together softly."

"Oh," said Kurogane. "Those are called Eskimo Kisses in Japan."

"Yes, well, we didn't have any Eskimos in Celes. I don't think. We didn't even really have butterflies, either."

"Why the Hell did you call them that, then?"

"I don't know – it wasn't me who named them," said Fay, "But I think it has something to do with hope. Butterflies were a very rare species in my world, and then one year they just… disappeared. The children were sad, but then came up with the whole idea in memory of them."

"How would they come up with _that_?" Kurogane asked, interest piqued. The mage never talked about his home world. "It seems sort of…random."

"The butterflies in Celes liked to land on people's noses while they napped, and would tickle them until they awoke. They liked to play tricks, I think. Anyway," continued Fay, "The children believed that if they kept giving Butterfly Kisses that one day the butterflies would return to them."

Kurogane snorted. Fay grinned.

"And then, one sunny New Year's day, they did. There was much celebrating, and now it is tradition on the first sunny day of the year to give each other Butterfly Kisses."

"_What?_" exclaimed Kurogane. Fay laughed at him.

"I'm just joking, Kuro-pon. But that is the legend behind the Butterfly Kisses in my world -- except for the last bit," he pulled away from the ninja – only just realizing he hadn't let go for the duration of his story. "What is the story behind your 'Eskimo Kisses'?"

"Up north there are people who live in houses made of ice, and it is so cold that they have to keep most of their face covered up at all times," explained Kurogane bluntly. "It's the only way they could possibly have any sort of 'kisses'. Crazy lunatics."

"Kuro-pyo," said Fay, trying to hide a yawn, "You really need to work on your story-telling skills."

"Unlike _some_ people, I don't need them."

"Someday, when you grow up and have puppies of your own you might find that being able to tell stories may come in handy."

Kurogane growled, "What? Are you speaking from personal experience?"

"Maybe."

"Wha—" the ninja began to speak, but was cut off by a yawning mage.

"I'm going to sleep now, Kuro-woof. Look after the house, would you?"

"No."

Fay ignored him and waved cheerfully, "Good Night, Kuro-rin! Hope you don't miss my company too much!"

"It's not even noon yet, dumbass!" cried Kurogane, outraged. "And there's no way I'd ever miss _your _company!"

An hour later found Fay fast asleep, sprawled, as usual, over the living room sofa and dreaming peacefully of butterflies.

Two hours of peace and quiet later, Kurogane had to acknowledge that he definitely did prefer the mage's company and inane chatter to the deafening silence that permeated throughout the house.

Not that he'd ever admit to it.

_

* * *

_

_a/n: Anyway, somebody abandoned a bunch of kittens outside my new school (Ativa) and my host mother and father let me keep them. My host sister (Mada, 11) is keeping one (the crazy one with the dopey-looking face) and I am keeping one (the fluffy white one who loves to be cuddled). They are both boys. She named hers Mimi (dear lord, help that kitty) and I named mine Fay, because of the blue eyed-ness and such. I changed his name to Monkey because that suited him better, though. Haha. Plus I can totally make nicknames out of it. Cookies to anyone who sends me a nickname for 'Monkey'!_


	7. Drip

_a/n: This didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to. I accidentally wrote it for two 30kisses themes instead of one and one. Blech. So I had to worm in the 30hugs' theme in there. I /think/ it sounds okay._

_Oh, and it is supposed to be confusing. So… if it makes no sense it is because his thoughts are all over the place._

Title: Drip  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #19 – red, Hugs #13–euthanasia  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

**Warnings: Possible spoilers. Okay, not really. Now that I think about it, it doesn't spoil anything. Shoot. I wanted to have an actual warning for once. ;A;**

_Okay… -deep breath- HURRY UP WITH CHAPTIRE 126 ALREADY!_

**Dedicated to the book 'Lovely Bones' by Alice Sebold for making me have a very introspective day.**

**And to Grape Fanta.**

**

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**

Drip. Drip. Drip.

"_If you want to die that badly I'll kill you myself!"_

Yes, I do.

He wished he could open his mouth and form the words, but his lips remained unmoving.

Please kill me.

_Euthanasia_ –

End my suffering.

"_So until then, live."_

No.

No, he thought vehemently.

You can save my life, but you can't make me _live_.

The words fought their way to the forefront of his turbulent mind, but he knew they would never pass between his lips. He felt his body trembling with exhaustion, and the beads of sweat that trickled down his skin and soaked his sun-kissed hair.

_Drip. Drip. Drip_

His thoughts flittered about, never staying in one place – just running, running, running. Memories flashed before his eyes. _Eye_, he corrected himself. He had only one eye now. Only one reminder of what he had lost in that land of ice and snow. Only one reminder of what he lost to the omnipresent chill that seeped and settled deep into the bones of all the world's unfortunate inhabitants.

Unfortunate inhabitants like his sister.

His sister who would hug him occasionally, and kiss him even less, but whose every little action or mannerism betrayed her caring nature despite her seemingly indifferent exterior.

His sister was the first to care for him and the last to leave.

His sister had had eyes like his.

Eyes that were blue, blue, blue like the sky he never saw. Eyes that were a reminder to his neighbours of what they had always wanted, never had, and never could have.

Eyes that he learned to love and cherish if only because it linked him to the one person who had cared for him and loved him as he needed, when he had needed it the most. Eyes that he could look at in a mirror, or on water, or on the cold, cold ice, and remember what it felt like to be loved, if only for a while.

_Drip. Drip. Drip_.

Red.

That was what he remembered the most. The first thing that caught his attention in the strange, dreary other-world he escaped to was red. Twin pools of the deepest red he could imagine.

Red like the sunrise. Red like the sunset. Red like a burning flame. Red like the sweetest flower.

Red like blood.

Red like the blood flowing from the wrists above him; dripping down his throat and down his cheek and down, down, down until it seeped into the fabric-covered arm that hugged him tightly to a fabric-covered chest where he could hear the strong heart contained within beating away, pushing the crimson liquid of life throughout its body once more and signaling another moment passing.

Another moment closer to death.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Drowning.

That's what he was. He was drowning.

Drowning, Drowning, Drowning.

Drowning in emotion; in fear; in pain; in memories.

In blood.

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

Drowning, Drowning, Drowning.

Drowning in emotion; in fear; in pain; in possibilities.

In love.

* * *

_a/n: Totally played football/soccer today. I suck so bad. But so do all of my friends, so it was really, really fun. We will be playing again next Saturday._

_Totally stayed home from a huge, huge like, city-wide fiesta to write this. And I don't really care for it as much as I hoped. Damn. I had so many plans for this. Blech. I shall post this now and get it over with._

_Better to peel a Band-Aid of quickly, eh?_

_(Although I like pulling them off slowly. Haha. Oh, great, now I am a masochist. My life keeps getting better and better._

_At least I have my Fanta Uva)_

**_Oh noes! This is totally wayyy shorter than I thought it was -pouts-. You are probably all thankful, too. Blah._**

_**Yeah for **periodical **moodswings**_


	8. Fairy Tales

_Title: Fairy Tales  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #10 –#10, Hugs #8– fairy tales  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP._

**Dedicated to my Mother, since she mailed me Off! Cream, a book on pirates, and many other things that I shall find incredibly useful in the future. May she be un-traumatized by the call she gave me while I was in the middle of an important, descriptive paragraph **_(so if you see any spectacularly crappy spots, it's all thanks to my creative process being interrupted. -shudder-)_

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As he lay on the cold tiled floor of the kitchen he held his hands up in front of his face, focusing at the ceiling behind slender fingers and marveling at how just shifting your focus can change your point of view so easily. His gaze shifted back to his hands and he counted each pale digit attached to the infinitely useful appendage.

Ten.

Ten fingers to prove he was human. Just like everyone else.

He snorted humorlessly. Human? If he ever had any doubts before the events that happened in that desolate world of sand and acid, he had none now.

Despite all appearances, he was nothing but a monster in a carefully constructed skin. A wolf in sheep's clothing, so-to-speak.

He was no longer waiting for his fairy tale ending. No longer waiting for someone to come and take him away and shield him from all the evils of the world.

_Worlds_, he corrected himself mentally.

He had tried to remain unattached, keep himself and his heart closed off to the strange people he was traveling with, though his efforts failed -- quite spectacularly, he might add.

He had been attached before, in the icy land he fled from, and that attachment had been severed so suddenly and fiercely that it had left him as the man -- _monster _-- he was at that moment, lying on the cold floor, feeling its chill seep through the soft fabric of his clothes and into his skin.

He counted his fingers again, and then continued on, listing the rest of the pieces that made him who he was, or wasn't, or wanted to be.

He found pieces to be an appropriate word to use. Not as an adjective, but as a verb. He was broken, and did not know where the pieces had scattered to or where to begin to search for them. He had long ago given up hope of ever finding them -- or was it that he no longer could be bothered to search?

He didn't have an answer to that question, so instead he counted.

Ten fingers, two hands, two arms, two shoulders, ten toes, two feet, two legs, one neck, one head, one nose, one mouth, two ears, two eyes…

He frowned for a moment, trying to figure out what was wrong in his counting, and didn't understand how he could make a mistake with something as trivial and basic as this. He blinked and he remembered.

Ahh, he thought, fingering the bandage that was still wrapped securely around his eye socket. He had a feeling his eye would be returned to him -- whether through regeneration thanks to his new and unwanted abilities, or through some strange events that may lead up to the original being put back into its proper place.

His stomach gurgled suddenly, and he felt its rumbling discontent more than he heard it. This type of hunger he could handle -- where his body was hungry, needed energy and, possibly, something sickeningly sweet. He found that he had two types of hungers now. The kind that could be ignored, for a while -- the kind that could fade into the background when more important matters presented themselves, or there was a distinct lack of nourishment available.

And then there was the other hunger.

It was a hunger so deep that he could feel it in his bones and his heart and his soul. A hunger where his senses were heightened dramatically and his mind darted about with renewed fervor, while his body weakened physically with each passing moment. It was a hunger he would never give in to -- even until he could no longer stand, and it was then that Kurogane would have to literally pry his mouth open, revealing the sharpened points of his canines, and then place it over his strong, tan neck where it would, almost of its own accord, snap shut and pierce the soft flesh.

He both hated those moments with a passion so fierce that it startled him, and loved them with a passion that was equally strong, yet far more frightening.

He shook his head, childishly hoping the movement might cause his thoughts to seep out of his ears or just dissolve into nothing and leave him, for a few minutes, at least, in peace. His stomach let its discontentment be known once more, and his missing eye flared back into life, leaving him so dizzy with pain that, even if he could be bothered moving to make himself something to eat, he wouldn't be able to get up.

It was as the pain was ebbing away, leaving in its wake a smaller, more manageable throbbing in his temples, that he noticed the warm presence sitting next to him. His hand had, of its own accord, tangled itself in the coarse, black fabric that the ninja was wearing and once he realized this he released it as quickly as he dared.

Kurogane's gaze bore down at him like twin pools of liquid fire, searing him with their strength and determination, and leaving him feeling as though the evil in him was being purified in a most intimate matter.

"What," came the gruff voice that he had come to love and hate all at once, "Are you doing on the floor? Do you _want_ to get sick?"

He looked up at the dark-haired man in response; beads of sweat slipping silently down his face, blue eye unfocused yet pleading. Kurogane heaved a sigh that, although making him sound as though he were greatly annoyed, he knew held well-concealed worry.

"Never mind," he sighed, "Don't answer that."

"I…" he began, trying to ignore those blazing eyes that refused to look away, "Don't want to get sick."

_Don't want to be even more of a burden._

It seemed as though Kurogane had read his thoughts; though he wasn't exactly sure whether or not he had said the last part out loud or not.

"You're not a burden, Fai," said the ninja. Fai blinked at him. Kurogane rarely ever used his name -- preferring to use insults in its stead --, and when he did, it was only in moments of utmost importance.

"I--"

"I chose to do this, you should respect that."

_Just like you respected my choice to die?_

Kurogane glowered at him, and Fai realized he must have said that aloud. "I don't listen to idiots," he said severely, "Who are dying from shock and are too stupid to listen to the people trying to help."

Fai opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it as he couldn't remember what he had been planning on saying. He furrowed his brows in a frown, though the habitual smile he wore hadn't faltered once throughout the entire afternoon. He decided to turn his head and stare at the orange light seeping through the kitchen window that stained the white wall every shade of red, pink and orange imaginable.

Muscled arms slid beneath him; one under his knees, and the other supporting his head, as Kurogane scooped him up into a warm embrace. Fai pressed his head up against the larger man's chest and listened to the calming rhythm his heart beat out.

"You're lucky the kids went into town," said Kurogane. Fai could feel his chest reverberate and he let his eyes droop shut. "Because you can imagine what the princess' reaction would be to see you lying on the floor like that, looking more pathetic than usual, if that's even possible."

"How is Sakura-chan dealing with the 'new' Syaoran?"

"As well as can be expected, considering."

"Mm-hmm," hummed Fai in response.

Kurogane shifted him a bit so that he was more comfortable, and began to walk upstairs towards their shared bedroom. "You knew all along, didn't you?" asked the ninja, "That the kid was a clone?"

"No," said the blond, enjoying the feeling that Kurogane's chest made as he growled in response. "I did know that he wasn't what he seemed to be."

"That heart-seal thing…"

Fai grinned into the fabric of his shirt, "I might have done something to help with that…but then again, I mightn't have."

"Damned mage."

"Damned in the most literal sense."

The only reaction Fai got from that statement was a slight pause in Kurogane's stride, but the moment passed rather quickly as the ninja busied himself with opening the bedroom door, maneuvering across the room and then setting Fai down on the bed -- gently, but not overtly so. This was, after all, Kurogane.

"…At least you're alive, idiot."

Fai cracked his eyes open a bit to peer at the face of his companion. "Alive, as in having a pulse and breathing? Yes. Alive as in living -- really living? No, not really."

Kurogane growled once more, and Fai felt strangely empty just hearing it and not being able to feel it and experience it as intimately as he had just moments before.

"Why is that?"

Fai looked at him. "Silly Kuro-mune," he said with an enigmatic grin, "A magician never reveals his secrets."

Kurogane gave him a disgusted look and left the room silently. Fai sighed and leaned back into the pillows, allowing his body to slip into a long-overdue slumber.

He dreamt of Kurogane, which was not an uncommon occurrence. He dreamt that they were sitting in an open field, full of flowers and the light of the sunrise, and that he was cold, and shivering, and that Kurogane noticed and pulled a woolen blanket around them tightly. It felt scratchy against his skin, but was warm and comfortable, and he soon found himself slipping into a light doze. He wondered, fleetingly, if it was possible to fall asleep in dreams, but ignored that thought in favour of listening to his companion's steady heartbeat.

As the last vestiges of wakefulness left him, he thought he felt a kiss being placed to the top of his head, but he couldn't be sure -- he was already far too drugged off of the warmth their bodies created, the feel of the grass tickling his bare feet, the scratchiness of his blanket and the light of the sunrise staining his eyelids a deep red.

When he woke up the next morning he found the blankets wrapped securely around his body, and Kurogane asleep in the chair next to his bed.

He touched the top of his head softly, and then let a small smile form on his lips.

Maybe he wouldn't give up on fairytales after all.

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_a/n: I actually really like this one. It is a response to the claims of not having any Kuro-ness in the last chapter… even though there was. I purposefully left his name out of it. The whole 'red' part of the last one-shot was supposed to be representative of Kurogane. _

_So… yeah._

_The very end of this one… I had quite a lot of trouble after the whole "a magician never reveals his secrets" line. Safjdhsklafhasjfkah. The rest of the story was like "Hah! You had one good, witty piece of dialogue and now you shall have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING afterwards! -evil laughter-"_

_Let us all shoot my Creative Process in the foot, shall we?_

_Please review! I know you are reading this! I HAVE A HIGH HIT COUNT!_

_And like, seriously, it takes a fraction of the amount of time I took to write this to review -- and omfg! I hear FLCL background music (Yorii Gallop) playing from upstairs! CRAZY ASS BRASILIAN SHOWS!_

_-hearts-_

_**I will proof-read this tomorrow. Unless one of you kind readers might help me out a bit? eheheh. My BetaFish is still in Italy and unable to reach a computer. Blech. I haven't had the last couple of chapters beta'ed... -grumbles- If you notice any stupid mistakes, please let me know. I am having the unfortunate habit of overlooking small spelling errors thanks to my living in a non-English speaking country at the moment.**_

-grumbles-


	9. Excessive Chain

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07/01/07 **_

Please Note: I have, at the moment, lost interest in writing this selection of one shots. This is due, in part, because I haven't been able to keep up with recent chapters because of my internet connect and in part thanks to Real Life rearing its ugly head accompanied by a very painful Kick to the Pants.

**_This does not mean, however, that I have given up on this. Far from it, in fact. It is one of the few stories I have planned out in a way that I can actually complete. I don't think that made sense, but you get the idea._**

**_Again, my sincerest apologies for those of you waiting few a new chapter. (I have the first line stuck in my head for the next one, but D.Gray-Man has eaten my brain. Eheh.)_**

--**_Doukeshi_**

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a/n: Okay so like, I know I haven't updated for a long, long, **long,** time. And I am really sorry about that! But uhh… my English skills have been worsening and an increasingly rapid rate. _

_Living in a non-English-speaking country can do that to a person. -sighs-_

_Anyway, not much new here. Thunder-storming today like crazy, the kittens are also crazy, I had a 3 day sleepover, caught up on Criminal Minds, Standoff, House, Grey's Anatomy, Jericho, Justice, Ghost Whisperer, Close to Home, Ugly Betty, Six Degrees, Heroes, Host Club, and pretty much every other new series on TV._

_Yes. I have no life._

_Umm… this** may** be a little confusing. Let us blame it on me trying to do a Kuro-woof P.O.V. fic this time? And the fact that dealing with Fai can confuse even the best of us._

--

Title: Excessive Chain  
Author/Artist: Allen Haverstock  
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai D. Flourite  
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERvoir CHRONiCLES  
Theme: Kisses #13 – excessive chain, Hugs #26 – "I never say the truth"  
Disclaimer: If I owned them they wouldn't be nearly as hot and smexy and mysterious because I suck like that. Fai and Kuro-tan are owned by the lovely clump of potatoes called CLAMP.

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If there was one thing he had learned since he had been ripped from the world he was raised in an untimely fashion and forced to join forces with a kid, a princess, a manjuu bun and an idiot on a fanatical quest to find, of all things, _feathers_, it was that everything was connected. Each world they visited was another piece of the excessive chain that made up the universe, dimensions and life. 

_Hitsuzen…?_

It wasn't something he cared to think about too often -- destiny, or fate, or whatever it was that people were supposed to believe in. He always found that there was no point in dwelling; that it was always better to keep pushing forward instead of being held back by the past.

The thought that everything he did would lead to the same outcome, thanks to destiny, or fate, or whatever, -- _Hitsuzen --_ was a very sobering one and, just this once, he would prefer to remain protected by ignorance rather than feel as though everything he did was of no consequence. He hated feeling useless.

The thought that he may have been fated to meet his new companions was, if possible, even more disturbing to him. That he could ever have been destined to meet, of all people, an idiotic mage who refused to use whatever skills he had at his disposal, was laughable. He had never met a person as enigmatic and infuriating as the blond -- for that he was thankful.

If there had been _two_ idiots to deal with… He shuddered at the thought.

"Hmm? Is Kuro-pipi cold?"

Speak of the devil.

"No," he grumbled from where he sat. "Now go away, idiot."

He glanced at the mage out of the corner of his eye and saw the man watching him with a slight frown. Pout, he corrected himself. That man _never_ frowned. He quickly averted his gaze -- so the idiot wouldn't catch him staring -- until he was instead staring at the bulbous moon hanging in the sky in front of him.

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes_," he hissed.

He felt the mage sit down gracefully next to him; chin resting atop steepled fingers, elbows resting on knees, and though the smaller man's eyes had followed his own gaze to the moon he could tell that he had the blond's full attention.

"Lying doesn't befit you, Kuro-tan."

"It's Kurogane, asshole," Kurogane reminded him for the thousandth time, though it was more of a natural reaction than actual scorn by this point in their journey. "And I never lie. Unlike_ some_ people."

He glanced meaningfully at the blond to help get his message across, but it was about as useful as killing a bug _after_ it had bitten you.

"I never lie, either, Kuro-rin," the mage said softly, now hugging his legs to his chest; head resting on his knees, sun-kissed bangs covering his eyes, and his face turned towards him revealing the ever-present smile. "And _my_ name is Fai, not asshole, or idiot, or mage."

Kurogane snorted, "The Hell you don't."

Although the thought that he hardly ever used the blond's name, only derogatory words in its stead, hadn't occurred to him before. It was a lot like what the idiot did to _his_ name, Kurogane realized, suddenly. Except with expletives.

Fai sent him a customary smile. Kurogane had noticed before that the other man never seemed to have an expression that wasn't laced with the well-hidden pain he was now accustomed to seeing, and, seeing it again, he was curious as to what could have caused it.

He sometimes found himself wondering if, maybe, he could help lessen the pain somewhat. He then almost always found himself wondering what the Hell the idiot poisoned him with at their last meal.

"I never lie," Fai repeated, looking him right in the eye. "But I also never speak the truth."

"And why is that?" he asked gruffly.

He wondered if there was anything the man could do that _wouldn't_ pique his curiosity. Or annoy him.

"Because," said the blond with a bitterness in his voice Kurogane wasn't used to hearing. It was subtle, and he was surprised that he caught it. "Some people can't handle the truth."

"Who?" he asked harshly. "That Ashura guy?"

Why couldn't the infernal man just tell him what he meant like a normal human being?

He ignored the voice in the back of his mind that claimed there was no way that idiot could be human. Not with the way he acted, and moved, and evaded. Especially not after… he cut his next thought off before it could finish.

Insanity must be contagious, he thought solemnly and he was tempted to edge away from the mage in an effort to save what little sanity he had left.

Fai snorted softly, though Kurogane didn't miss how the man's face paled. Even the rosy hue his cheeks gained from the cold wind couldn't hide it.

"No," he said, "Not him."

"Then who?" he growled, sick of this hide-and-seek conversation.

"Me."

"And what is this truth then? The one you're so afraid of?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Kurogane blinked, at a loss, and then scowled; angry that he had no real response to that. He was a ninja for god's sake! He was supposed to be prepared for anything!

Although he had to admit that he was becoming more accustomed to being at a loss ever since he had first laid eyes on the mage. He had honestly, the first time he saw the willowy man, thought he was a girl.

But only for a second.

It was an honest mistake. Because, really, no man should allowed to be that _pretty._ Pretty was reserved for _girls._ And _flowers_. And _clothes. _And _linen._

Not for _men._

And reality as he knew it only continued on a downward spiral from there.

Lost in his thoughts, a reply was out of his mouth before he realized he was even speaking.

"Because I lo--"

He managed to cut himself off in horror. There was no way he was going to say that. He didn't know where the thought came from, but he would _never_ admit to it. Because it wasn't true.

It couldn't be true.

"--like knowing just what in _Hell_ is going on."

Fai gave him a slightly self-satisfied -- _knowing_ -- grin.

Kurogane realized, in that moment, that he was doomed.

"The day you can admit the truth to yourself is the day I'll tell you what you want to know," he said before adding ominously: "If you still want to when the time comes."

Kurogane scowled. "I'll hold you to that."

Fai sent him an uncharacteristic smirk as he hopped with cat-like grace off of the roof and landed silently on the deck. "Whatever you say, Kuro-pon," he called out.

He was watching the idiot sneak up behind the brat absentmindedly as he recounted their conversation, trying to figure out what, exactly, happened. It was then that Kurogane began to understand a bit more about how the fair-haired mage must feel.

_Bound to your past by an excessive chain of lies._

He remembered, suddenly, that the whole reason things happened the way they did that night was because he had been scoffing at the whole idea of fate, and destiny, and Hitsuzen.

_Bound to your future by Hitsuzen._

For the first time in a long time, Kurogane began to believe.

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_Review and I'll give you a **beijino!**_

_P.S., FF fixed the line divider thingy! For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about… well, that's good because it means that it never bothered you before and you were saved a lot of grief._

_**Huffah.**_


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